


Miscommunication

by kristicola



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Awkward Flirting, Awkward situations, F/M, First Kiss, Fluff, i don't know how to tag things, soft angst, very impomptu first kiss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-10
Updated: 2016-08-10
Packaged: 2018-08-07 20:17:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,658
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7728379
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kristicola/pseuds/kristicola
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ok so I wrote this a year and a half ago?? But I'm replaying DA:I right now, and it felt relevant to my interests. Perhaps yours as well? ;3 Nothing too steamy this time (but idk if I keep feeling feels for this replay I might have to write it out) mostly just those annoying "if you'd just talked about it you could have saved a lot of sore feelings" deals. But it ends good, promise. Or is it better to keep you hanging? Am I lying? Who knows! (Anyone that read the full thing on tumblr last year.)</p><p>Warning for very minor spoilers of canon events, but really nothing particularly story relevant!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

She had come to his office immediately, Cassandra hadn’t even needed to tell her that  _she was the only one he might listen to_ … she’d have gone no matter what she said. But now that she stood outside his door, she paused in uncertainty. _What was she going to say to him?_ _What was going through his mind?_ He seemed so upset and… she had just automatically come here, like she should be the one to comfort him. Her face reddened at the thought. _Why did she think that?_ Surely he could.. work this out on his own, right? _No_ … she was not going to let him suffer this alone..  Though why she thought she had any ability to… do _anything_ … was beyond her. She could barely maintain normal pleasantries… but she had to try..

Summoning her courage, she opened the door.

“Cullen..?”

He stood leaned over his desk, staring intently at something, he did not look up at her.

“I should be taking it..” his hand balled into a fist, eyes shut tightly shaking his head, “ _I should be taking it._ ” His fist pounded into the desk, other hand shoving various objects aside, onto the floor.

Ara gasped slightly, standing on her toes, back to the wall. She was not used to seeing him like this, it was… unsettling. For being what he was, the Commander of the Inquisition’s forces, he had always been so gentle around her. A chill ran up her spine and she could feel the hair on the back of her neck stand.

While he had not notice her entering, or her saying his name, he heard her gasp in all the clatter. “Ara…” his eyes widened as he looked over at her, a very apparent fear on her face, “Ah.. I… forgive me, I did not hear you enter…” he attempted haphazardly to straighten his desk as if perhaps it might smooth the situation over without further conversation. It would not, of course.

She eased back down onto her heels and relaxed her shoulders a little. His apologies to her always came so quickly… she found it terribly charming.

“Cullen…” she moved over, while she had eased, her steps were still careful, “We.. can talk, if you’d like…”

He looked to her, defeated. He supposed though… if there was anyone to speak about this to… it was her. “We’ve talked of this before, haven’t we? Cassandra was supposed to keep an eye on me… if ever I began to falter…” he looked in the direction of the case he’d tossed aside. Lyrium, she assumed.

He made a movement towards her, but stumbled in his steps, catching himself on his desk.

She closed the gap with a much more quickened pace, frowning as she looked him over, “Are you all right?”

“Yes… “ he began, but he closed his eyes, sighing, “I don’t know.”

She felt an uncomfortable weight in her chest, a knot in her stomach… she did not like seeing him like this. _How much did he suffer without saying anything?_ Was he in pain all the time? The lyrium… _would it truly help him?_ Still, this was his decision, and it was admirable - he was brave, to cut himself off of something he’d grown so accustomed to..

“There are so many lives at stake, so much hangs in the balance,” his head hung, fists balled at his side, expression pained, “I will not give less to this cause than I did to the chantry, I will not–”

He was caught off guard when she took one of his hands in hers.

“Cullen… forget about all that for a moment… sometimes you must do what’s best for you.”

He looked at her, surprise taking his features, though a slight relief soon followed. “Thank you, Ara..” The cause would always take priority, but perhaps… he could still take care of himself as well. But if things did not improve…

He glanced away, wishing to hide the doubt in his eyes from her, “But if this gets worse, if I can not endure-”

Once again, she surprised him, placing a hand on either side of his face and redirecting his gaze to hers. “You _can_.” she assured, painting a smile that would rival sunshine in a thunderstorm.

She didn’t really realize what she was doing, if she had, she’d have been pretty damn flustered. Though as she began to notice the light prickly sensation of his stubble beneath her hands it very slowly began to sink in…. _Very slowly_ as she simply stood there, backside leaned against the desk, all too enamored by this new sensation to realize he was staring at her, a little wide-eyed, face taking a red tone that deepened with each passing moment. Her gaze traced his jawline, fingers shifting very idly against his skin, and then everything that happened next was too much of a blur to properly recount.

Without warning, his lips were on hers.

Her eyes widened, and she froze, unsure of what to do. She hadn’t noticed their closeness, she’d even been too distracted to notice the rise in temperature on his face,hers was certainly matching in color right in this moment, however.

S-should she tell him to stop? _No_. But she… she wasn’t prepared! There was a very strong urge within her to slide her hands through his hair, but she wans’t sure - _what was this_? It was so uncalled for! One moment they’d just been talking and – well… then she did start touching him and… gazing at him a bit and…. Her heart was pounding, mind racing, she could reach no decisions before he very abruptly pulled away.

_And he looked mildly horrified._

“I… uh…” he stammered, stepping back, looking around the room like it held some answer he so desperately sought. In a clear panic he grabbed up a board with a few reports off the desk beside her and cleared his throat, “Reports… uh.. training….. I should go.”

Meanwhile Ara just stood there in stunned silence. She had nothing to say for herself. She hadn’t told him to stop, and she _stupidly_ had not encouraged him in the least, she just stood there like a damn statue, and she continued to do so, at a complete loss.

Cullen wasted no time in shuffling his way out of his own office, leaving Ara standing there, bewildered. She wasn’t sure how long she was standing there before she finally located some of her senses and realized she was still in the same spot, alone in his office.

“That…..” she exhaled sharply, “…. was sort of amazing.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sobs I wrote notes before but they got eaten... :C 
> 
> they weren't important, mostly just a mention that i'm a slut for kudos/comments, tell me what you thought! I'd love to know. ♥


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wondered why I said it was gonna be a little angsty? Haha, here you go.

It had been several days now, since the… _incident_ … and Ara had not seen nor heard from the Commander. Which was strange. But, the whole of the Inquisition was busy, herself included. She’d spent some time away from Skyhold, tending to the world around them in whatever small way she could as they built up their forces in preparation for the real battles. But now, they would have to see one another. There was to be a meeting in the war room, all advisors would be present.

To be honest, it really hadn’t occurred to her that he was actively avoiding her. Until she entered the war room.

Things progressed as they might normally, save for a few minute changes. He would not look at her, and he very pointedly referred to her as ‘Inquisitor’ and nothing else, which… sometimes he still did call her that, around the advisors, or with scouts and soldiers around, but it felt particularly… prominent in the discussions occurring now. Her heart sank - she wasn’t sure what she was expecting out of him. They were… close before the… uh… _thing_ had occurred in his office. As she was with most everyone in the Inquisition. But she had truly come to greatly enjoy his company… much to her own surprise. And she had thought… well she wasn’t sure what she had thought. _He had kissed her and more or less ran away._

She had for the most part zoned out staring at him while the meeting wound down to a close. Her attention snapped back however, at his voice, addressing her.

“Inquisitor, if I might have a word?”

He still would not make eye contact.

“… of course, Commander.” she replied, wondering if the title left any bitter sensation for him as it did for her. Of course, if it did, she could not tell.

The women filed out, leaving the two of them alone. He waited a long moment, as if to assure they were entirely gone - _though when was Leliana ever fully gone_ \- and finally he looked at her. Gods he looked like he’d barely been sleeping. And as soon as their gazes met, his face started to shift to a very adorable shade of pink. She bit her lip trying to keep a grin from spreading.

“About our last encounter I…” _oh gods he’d spent days trying to work out how to say this, and everything he’d rehearsed was gone._ “I… uh…” he cleared his throat, gaze just as quickly finding his way away from hers, “I… wish to apologize….. for my actions…”

She _really_ had no idea what she expected, because even this, which perhaps seemed obvious, surprised her. He wanted to apologize? It wasn’t as if she’d pushed him off, or really… attempted at all to disengage, though… she supposed it all happened so quickly, and she just stood there in shock, if could have been a little.. hard to understand what exactly she thought… hell even she didn’t know, still. But she… certainly wasn’t… upset with him. She had been more concerned that she hadn’t been able to find him at all afterwards. She wanted to tell him it was fine, though.. how to even word a response like that without it sounding overly nonchalant - but she did not get the chance before he continued speaking.

“I was not… myself at the time, and I assure you my conduct that evening will not be repeated.”

_Oh._

She had not expected to be so unbelievably disappointed by such words. But… now that he had said them, well… it should have been obvious, right? She was a dalish mage.. before all this he had been a templar… whatever she might have thought that had meant… _Ah_. Her gaze dropped, a sad, bitter smile twitching at the corners of her lips. _So stupid. How did she manage to be so stupid._

A soft laugh escaped her, at herself, though it worked in her favor when she finally did get the chance to speak. “Oh, that? Forget about it, Commander.” She shrugged her shoulders, attempting to fight off the utterly defeated weight on her chest, “An obvious mistake, of course.”

Turning away from him to face the large double doors out, she stepped off as if this was all the very least of her concerns. _It should be, shouldn’t it? She had much bigger problems to worry about… right?_

Glancing over her shoulder, she forced a brighter smile, unsure if his expression was relief or confusion… perhaps both.

“Think nothing of it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor lil thing was so hopeful, what have you done Ser? Once again, hmu with your thoughts I LOVE THEM. More to come soon! ♥


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I really enjoyed writing Sera ;; she's so fun, why did they make everyone so awful to her.

As Cullen stepped out of his office he was greeted by the chilling wet sensation of being utterly _drenched_ in water from above. This was not as startling as it really ought to be, and he was entirely certain he knew the precise cause of this very limited and direct  _shower_.

“ _Sera_ …” he growled, looking up above him, more surprised to find the elven girl actually there, bucket in hand, cheeks puffed out from holding back laughter which could no longer be contained.

“Lookit you, you’re all soggy!” she declared the obvious between bursts of laughter, perched upon some outstanding planks that lined the stone tower.

“Yes, and what were you expecting?” he grumbled, shaking off some of the excess water, still glowering at the girl from below, “You know Sera, I have half a mind to-”

“To what?”

Her laughter had stopped and her tone had grown serious, almost challenging, which brought a confusion to Cullen’s face. _Sera was never serious._

“You going to go tattle on me? Gonna tell her Sparkling Inquisitor-pants? To be honest, I don’t think she wants to see you much.”

The confusion only grew, but now there was concern as well, his brow furrowed. _What did she mean?_   Sure.. they had not seen much of one another lately but… She was a busy woman and… surely that was all it was… right? Still, the sudden dryness in his mouth found him asking.. “What… do you mean?”

“You know I’ve been trying to get her to come out pranking with me for days now, yeah? We always have a time of it, she’s always a little shy about it, but I know she loves it, but she wont, says she’s busy. She just sits in her room goin’ over reports though, I’ve seen. And I know she hates that.” Sera sat on the planks now, looking ahead, as if the far reaches of mountains or clouds in the distance may hold more information before she continued. “I even tried cookies, it’s a thing, the cookies, you wouldn’t get it, but she only smiled a little. I said we could throw ‘em at Coryphewhuts if they weren’t any good and she didn’t even laugh.”

Cullen found Sera’s antics incredibly hard to follow… but she did seem genuinely concerned about Ara as she went on… her tone alone spoke more to him than anything she actually said.

She hopped down beside the Commander, graceful as the rogue she was, still facing forward and staring ahead as she placed her hands on her hips. “So I tried again today. I said we’d do some little things around Skyhold, mess with some people. I almost thought I had her, but you know what happened when I mentioned you?” she finally looked to the Commander, gaze pointed and accusing, a glare would have been gentler. “She got all scrunchy-faced! Said she needed to be planning her next move against the red templar-venatori-whatevers.” Sera sighed, shaking her head a little. “I don’t like seeing her all scrunchy-face. I like it better when she smiles.”

Cullen was a little floored, to be honest. He didn’t know what most of it meant but… to see Sera so sincere… _Was it because of what had happened between them_ … Or… perhaps… _was it what he had said?_   Was he entirely stupid? He frowned, unable to find words to respond with.

“Yeah well you figure that out, but now you’re all wet and that’s funny so at least I feel better.” Sera shrugged before stepping off without anything else being said, leaving Cullen to mull over his thoughts.

_He liked it better when she smiled too._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fingerguns 
> 
> Comments/kudos always in style y'all. A little encouragement does a load of good.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ALSO LOVE WRITING DORIAN sighs the dragon age characters are all so good ok? I love them??? Help???? I might have more fun writing canon characters than my own ocs ok

“Your move.”

It had been a day since his run-in with Sera, and her words had nagged at him since. Still… he was not sure what to do about it. He had not come across Ara, and was not sure he wanted to yet… if she was upset with him… he needed to figure out something to say to her…

When he’d kissed her… _it was a mistake, wasn’t it?_ Regardless of his feelings for her… ah… He was still realizing his feelings for her, to be truthful - they were there… But he did not think… _She was the Inquisitor._ She was… _magnificent_ … And the world was in chaos… He could not be so selfish as to…

The man seated across from him cleared his throat. “ _Your move_ , Commander.”

Cullen blinked up at the Tevinter, having clearly zoned out, “Hmm, what? Oh… of course… Sorry…” a heavy breath escaped him through his nose as he looked over the board, contemplating his move. For some reason the board just didn’t read today as it normally did.

“Tsk, tsk, tsk…” Dorian clicked his tongue as Cullen situated his knight on the board, shaking his head, “My, my Commander. You should probably just talk to her if she’s distracting you _this_ badly.” Dorian claimed a Bishop as an obvious tension rose in the Commander who shifted in his seat.

“W-what? What do you mean?” A heat rose to his face, spread even to his ears, _was it really so obvious_?

The mage leaned back where he sat, lacing his fingers in front of him. “Oh, please, even were I blind, this puzzle is not hard to put together. You want to know how _I_ know something’s wrong between you two?” Dorian, _quite cruelly_ , paused, just to take in the pleading expression the _Great Commander of the Inquisition_ wore before shrugging and continuing. “She favors my company as of late on her ventures, I can’t say I mind, all the gossiping nobles around Skyhold, ah… makes me a bit homesick - _well anyway_ … Up until a few days ago, our charming Inquisitor was always so bright, cheerful, and goodness, was she _chatty_. You know what she liked to talk about?”

_Oh how Dorian loved to watch the Commander wait on baited breath_ …

“You.”

Cullen’s brow furrowed in slight confusion, but mostly he seemed flustered. _She… spoke of him_? Why..? He didn’t think it was possible that she… When he’d kissed her she hadn’t… well…. she may not have responded… but she… had not reacted in offense… had she..? He rubbed at the back of his neck, recalling the event very vividly - he chastised himself often for just how vividly he _could_ recall it.  
  
“Oh, do you think the Commander could use this~? Perhaps the Commander and his troops could make use of these weapons~ Do you think the Commander would like this~?” Dorian said in a mockingly feminine tone, bringing Cullen's attention back to the present and making the red on his cheeks flare a bit more. “She’d even sometimes call you by name, but quickly correct herself, embarrassed, as if it was some secret between just the two of you, like we weren’t supposed to know you two knew each others _actual_ names. _Adorable_.”

He didn’t know what to say. He wasn’t sure if he was thankful or not when Dorian kept speaking.

“You know what she speaks of now?” His arms now crossed over his chest, head tilted to the side. _Cullen once again felt accusatory vibrations heading his direction._ This time though.. he was beginning to put two and two together and four was becoming a viable option…

“Nothing. She hardly says a word, unless it is necessary. It’s unsettling for all of us, to be truthful.”

“I.. apologize… I did not realize–”

“Your move.”

Cullen looked at Dorian, a little bewildered. _Did the game even still matter_? He looked down at the pieces, they didn’t even make sense to him at the moment.

“I don’t even know what to say…”

“I’d start with ‘sorry’, for whatever dim-witted thing you’ve done.”

The Commander glowered up at the other man, but… he was right, of course. _But he needed so much more._

“But… what else?” he stared at the game board, desperation clear in his voice, though he would not look up at Dorian to show it on his face. “I need more than that… I… “

“I’ll tell you, if you can beat me.”

Cullen looked up at the other man incredulously. What a ridiculous offer. He’d always beaten him at this game, every time but this…. he looked back down at the board, staring blankly. He couldn’t remember any of his past moves, what he had, what he’d lost… His fingers fumbled with the game pieces, debating, but he could not find it within him to calculate… _he just wanted to know, what did he need to do to fix this…_

Shifted a piece across the board, a dry chuckle escaped the Tevinter who very elegantly leaned forward, sliding a piece across without hesitation. _The Commander really was blinded by love, wasn’t he?_

“Checkmate.”

Cullen pressed a hand over his eyes, shaking his head. _What a sorry defeat._ Dorian did not linger, not feeling any need to bask in this victory, if he could even truly consider it one. Moving to take his leave, he paused beside the Commander, placing a hand on his shoulder. “Sorry friend, but it looks like you’re on your own. It’s better that way though, she doesn’t want to hear lines from me. She wants to hear them from you.”

He glanced over his shoulder as the other man left, a sigh of defeat escaping him. Well, at least he knew now… what he needed to do. And he would fix this, whatever it took.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why does love make everyone stupid? One more chapter to go~


	5. Chapter 5

“And why can’t one of your scouts deliver this?”

“It is not really a matter that they can not, I simply need this delivered without delay and you were heading that way were you not?”

 _Not really…_ she half-muttered under her breath, but Ara was not going to deny Leliana a very simple request.

“My scouts are currently running other tasks, but if this is too much–”

“No, it’s… fine.”

“Thank you, Ara. He should not even be in at the moment, I heard he would be running drills all afternoon. But it is important it reaches his desk as soon as possible.”

Ara perked up without realizing. _Oh, well, stellar._ If he wasn’t going to be in then, no harm no foul. She still had not come up with a way to feign pleasantness around him, which ate away at her more than she liked to admit. It was stupid, wasn’t it? Why did it have to change things between them? They had been friends… she had cared about him… _she supposed… too much._ But that was her own fault… she couldn’t blame him… and she just wanted to go back to the way things had been… but she wasn’t ready to look at him yet. To face him with a smile that wasn’t forced.

“Of course,” she nodded, relieved, as she took the small stack of reports and hurried off along the battlements.

Leliana smiled all-too-knowingly after her elven Inquisitor, she hoped they’d work this out. _She couldn’t stand seeing the two of them so damn pouty._

Ara did not even bother knocking as she entered the Commander’s office, after all, _why would Leliana lie to her_. She looked over the papers as she entered, caught off guard by the startled Commander’s voice.

“A-ara..”

He’d been sitting at his desk, staring blankly at several papers scattered across his desk, _thinking of her_ , what he would do when he saw her… but he was not expecting that moment to be now.

She froze in her steps feeling an old tension rise in her, something she’d almost forgotten. Her lips pulled into a thin line as she looked up at him, blinking, “… Commander… Leliana said– uh, well, she…” she stiffly waved the papers in her hand, as if that spoke enough for her, before adding a very obvious, “.. reports.”

“Actually, I’m glad you’re here…”

 _He wasn’t prepared_ … But… now was just going to be have to be the time. Here was his opportunity, and… he’d been thinking almost non-stop about what he would say to her, what he would do. Nothing conclusive came to him but he had to do this… or he would not forgive himself.

She didn’t respond, chewing on the inside of her cheek as she made uncomfortable steps towards his desk to sit the papers down. He moved to stand and she flinched slightly. _She had not responded so adversely to him since their meeting._ She did not look at him, gods forbid she had to look at that… stupid… charming… face… _why was this hard_? He had called her Ara when she came in… _It shouldn’t be this hard_!

“Ara… about before.. I’m sorry..”

Her spine straightened as she felt one of his hands come to rest gently atop hers where it sat on the desk. She snatched it away like he’d bit her. _He was not allowed to be sweet to her_. That was the worst possible thing he could do.

“Oh… that again? I said don’t worry about it.” she waved her hand at him, shaking her head, trying to shrug it off as if it was the silliest thing. She was doing a pretty poor job though, she’d never been a very good actress. “I mean… it was obviously just a mistake, right? I mean why would you…. I mean… I’m an elf and you’re human… that’s just… Sure, maybe you’re… stupidly charming and handsome– _oh creators why did I say that_ –” she clapped a hand over her face but continued rambling on as if she might still have a point somewhere in all of this, “S-still… gross… right… I mean… me and a shem… laughable… and I’m a mage!!”

“Ara…”

“You’re a templar, well, used to be! And… I mean that doesn’t make sense, right? So,”

“ _Ara_ …”

“Sure… I suppose not much of anything has made sense in a long time, I mean demon spewing holes in the sky, Herald of Andraste, Corypheus–”

It became very clear to Cullen she was not going to stop speaking any time soon unless he… encouraged her. It took more bravery than he’d like to admit, but _Maker how he’d wanted to do this again ever since that day_ … He tugged her closer with one hand, the other cupping the side of her face as he closed the distance between the two of them.

How he managed to surprise her _twice_ like this… Her heart nearly leapt from her chest, but… while she could accept the fact he’d caught her off guard now, _twice_ … she could not let him… fool her twice. _As much as she’d like to enjoy this moment…_

She pulled away rather abruptly, brows furrowed in confusion. She wanted to ask… _what did it all mean_? But she couldn’t find the words.

He looked over her face for a moment, a smile spreading across his face, gentle and apologetic. “I wanted to apologize… for what I said, in the war room.” Both hands now framed her face, his smile warming as he took in the look of surprise that overcame her face, followed by the sudden redness that brushed her cheeks. “I should not… have apologized for kissing you.”

Her eyes widened, gaze darting away. Now that he was saying the words, she had no idea what to do. _How did he do that?_ How did he manage to say _precisely_ what she wanted to hear? When she had not even known what she wanted to hear? And to be standing there, mere inches from her face, smiling down at her, as he did it? Her legs felt weak.

“It… was not a mistake… not to me.”

Finally, Cullen’s gusto seemed to wear off as his hands slipped away and he leaned back. That nervous tick of his showed through as he rubbed at the back of his neck, clearing his throat. “I.. was worried you may not… I didn’t… _ah, Maker_..”

“So you… don’t regret it, then?”

“Hm?” he looked to Ara, a little surprised by her meek question, she stood leaned against his desk, dragging her toes against the floor, staring down. “Regret it..? Oh– no! No… not at all..”

“You sure..?” she peeked up at him, obviously bashful, but there was also a certain.. playfulness to her expression, a grin beginning to tug at her lips. “I’m… not sure I believe you…”

It took a moment to click in his mind, and he intended to defend his claim, but as he opened his mouth, he realized the shy grin on her face and understood. “Oh, well..” he leaned forward, tilting her chin up until their gazes met, “I suppose I will just have to reassure you.”

She did not wait for him however, this time taking him by surprised as she wrapped both arms around his neck, bringing his lips to hers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE END, hope you enjoyed the ride! I certainly recall enjoying writing it. Comments/Kudos are rad, but just thanks for reading if you got this far! ♥♥


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